


In Every Home a Heartache

by anotherbird



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games), The Last of Us (Video Games)
Genre: Arthur Morgan Lives, Betaed, Canon-Typical Violence, Ellie & Joel (The Last of Us) Bonding, Ellie (The Last of Us)/Dina (The Last of us) - Freeform, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, Joel (The Last of Us) Lives, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Road Trips, Slow Burn, TLOU2 spoilers, The Last of Us 2 timeline, rdr2 spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:35:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26630749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anotherbird/pseuds/anotherbird
Summary: Joel had no idea what was awaiting them in Seattle. Which state the former QZ was in now. They were heading into the unknown, following the vague rumor of another Firefly hospital - no way of knowing what would lay ahead of them on the way.But she wanted to go.So he would follow.(Updates every 7-10 days)
Relationships: Ellie & Joel (The Last of Us), Joel (The Last of Us)/Arthur Morgan
Comments: 97
Kudos: 85





	1. Prologue: Jackson - Winter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta read by wonderful [Scrambled Still](https://twitter.com/ScrambledStill) who enabled me to write this by constantly listening to my ideas, so I actually dared to tackle this very self-indulgent idea. 
> 
> I hope some of you will read and enjoy this kind of TLoU2 rewrite/ fix-it which also features a very dear rarepair, but will just as much focus on repairing the relationship between Joel and Ellie and Ellie/Dina will also be heavily featured in the long run.

Ellie still had snow in her hair, when she caught up to Joel at the stables, her cheeks flushed from the cold or something else entirely. Maybe something that had to do with the smiles she and Dina exchanged, when they had entered the stables. Joel and Tommy had just barely made it back through the snowstorm. 

“Hey.” Her voice was a little hoarse and she cleared her throat.

“Howdy.”

Her corner of her lips twitched slightly upwards at his answer.

“Sooo… you made it through the storm in one piece?”

“Just so.” 

Shimmer, whose reins Ellie still held in her hand, started to nibble on her hair. She gently pushed the mare away.

“Good, I…thought...” Her hands were fidgety, her gaze seemed to avoid his face, jumping everywhere else. She cleared her throat again. “Maybe we could watch a movie tonight? I think _Curtis and Viper 2_ is still on our list.” 

The surprise must have been written on his face. He had not expected that. Not so soon. When she had come to him last night after the dance, he had expected that she would need more time. That it would take weeks for her to seek him out again. But she had taken him by surprise. Again.

"We don't have to, of course. It's just...I thought it would be nice?" She shrugged, while Shimmer behind her tried to get her attention by nibbling on her backpack this time. Meanwhile Dina was getting the saddle off her horse, not too close, but close enough to listen in.

"No, it's perfect. Just -” He smiled and cleared his throat, not trusting his own voice. “- come over whenever you feel like it."

“Great.” She smiled back, hesitantly so, but she did. “See you later then.”

All Joel was able to do was nod.

When Ellie arrived, she didn't knock. She had never knocked _before_ , had always just entered Joel's house whenever she felt like it. Like it was _home,_ even though she had her own little shed just in the backyard. He didn’t mind it. In his mind it was just as much her home as his.

For almost two years she hadn't set a foot in his house. There had been no sudden opening of the door followed by footsteps and a calling of his name. Everyone else always knocked and still every time he had thought it maybe could be her. 

It had never been.

And he had not dared to hope that it ever would be again.

Not even after she had shown up on his porch after the dance.

But she had never stopped finding ways to surprise him. 

So, when she came in later that evening, she just … did. She didn’t knock, just let herself in through the front door and threw herself on the sofa like she had done countless times before. Only when she spotted him, once again reading his face, she seemed to remember what she had just done and sat up straight. He fought down a smile, covering his mouth with his hand. 

“Shit, I’m sorry. I -” She gestured lamely towards the door. “I should have -” 

“No, it’s fine.”

He didn’t say that he was relieved. That he would have liked it less if she had knocked. Because she wasn’t a stranger. 

She never took up knocking since. Just started to come in again, sometimes spontaneously, she became a presence in his house again. Even if her visits weren’t that long. Even if she sometimes left quickly, when it became too much. Hearing her laugh again, even if it was about some dumb movie, was all he could ask for. More even. 

It wasn’t like _before,_ but it was something. 

Babysteps. 

Ellie hadn’t knocked today either when she came over for dinner, yet he could tell something was different. She was quieter than usual. _Before_ he would have asked what she had on her mind, now he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to. If she wanted him to. He had accepted that she was making the rules. Setting the pace. He was thankful for every day, she was talking to him instead of greeting him with silence. So far, they had avoided _talking_. Really talking. About the things that mattered. 

They ventured into the well-known territory of movie nights and asking about patrols and her playing the guitar. She had kept the one he had given to her. He had seen her play it one evening at the campfire with her friends. That bunch of kids that would never know the _before_ and he wasn't sure if this was a curse or pure bliss. 

This evening was different though. 

She had this brooding look about her that filled him with dread. Knew that she was about to ask something from him or tell him something he didn’t want to hear.

She carried it with her the whole evening over dinner, over the small talk they were only very slowly growing accustomed to again. If he were less of a coward, he would have asked her directly. 

But he didn't. He still walked on eggshells around her, like only one word could change her mind and she would leave his house or worse, leave Jackson altogether after all. 

"We picked up a bunch of fireflies on patrol the other day. The new guys you keep seeing around? Or ex fireflies, I'm not sure." She pushed a potato around on her plate that must have turned cold already, then put her fork down and leaned back in her chair. 

_Fireflies._

He knew what was coming.

That it had something to do with those men and women that had turned up a couple of days ago. Bunch of ex firefly, ex militia types he carefully avoided. It had been naive to settle down in Jackson, too many of them still knew Tommy or had at least heard about him. Knew that Tommy was the brother of a man who had smuggled an immune girl for them. And Jackson was far too close to Salt Lake City. 

He felt her eyes on him and looked up to meet them, tried his hardest not to avoid them. She was chewing on the inside of her cheek.

"You talked to them."

"Tommy did. And Maria. Told them to be on their way, if they tried anything here but that they could stay, if they want to be part of Jackson.” Ellie scratched her arm, the tattoo covered scar tissue. He remembered, when she burnt herself to erase the bite mark. Far too vividly. How she had acted like it had been some sort of weird accident. 

He waited for the inevitable. 

“They weren’t in Salt Lake City. Some people left before we arrived there.” She chewed on her lip. “There… is another hospital." 

He closed his eyes, took a breath. And a second one. Found her staring at him when he dared to look at her again.

"You want to go." Not a question.

She averted her eyes now, rubbed her ear.

"Where?" He asked when she remained quiet.

"Seattle."

He took a deep breath, studied her face for a while. She looked tired. Tense. She had already made up her mind. There was no way of talking her out of it and he was the last person she would listen to in that regard. He knew he should feel lucky that she even told him instead of vanishing without another word knowing he would try to stop her.

"Okay." He finally said. 

"Okay?" Her head jerked upwards, eyes wide but wary. Trying to figure him out. 

"We're going."

"We?"

There's the hint of a smile twitching at the corner of her lips, a frown on her forehead.

"We." He repeated.

She was quiet for a while, leaned back in her chair, arms crossed in front of her chest, studying him. 

"Okay."

Seattle.

It was different from being thrown into a long trip like they had been the last time. Now they had to plan roughly 870 miles ahead, prepare, discuss the path they would take, how they would travel.

It was its own kind of luxury, but there once again was no certainty in what they would find on their way or at their destination.

Joel had no idea what Seattle was like now. He had never been there, not even before the outbreak, only knew there was a possibly abandoned QZ like the one in Boston. Most big cities used to have one controlled by FEDRA, but if Fireflies somehow not only made their way into the city, but took control of a hospital, a QZ was highly unlikely. If rumors were true there couldn’t be much left of it now. Just another city turned into a graveyard. Maybe it would happen to Boston after all. To all QZs that were left.

An ex-QZ meant uncontrolled numbers of infected and groups of desperate survivors. He wasn't keen on having to set a foot in there, but it wasn't like he had any sort of choice. That one was for Ellie.

They discussed every option.

On foot or on horseback?

The highway or the way across the mountains?

Avoiding cities or scavenging for a car or resources?

They made lists of provisions they would need to ask Maria for.

After all they might just be following a baseless rumor.

It kept them busy, occupied them with planning, avoiding discussions about what decisions lay ahead of them.

Ahead of Ellie.

Avoided it so much that when she finally spoke up, after several evenings of planning, he was dumbstruck. 

"Are you coming with me to stop me?" 

She wasn't looking at him, kept staring at the roadmap in front of them like it held the answer to her question. Like it held all the answers.

His voice was stuck in his throat, his tongue felt numb and useless. He froze, when she finally raised his head to look at him over the table. 

"If we're going, you have to promise me that you will let me do… whatever I have to do. You have to give me the choice."

"Okay." There wasn't much else he could say.

"Promise me." She insisted.

"I promise." It felt shallow to him. Like it had to feel to her.

Her face hardened, an unreadable mask, as she studied his face. She didn't believe him. He had promised her once and failed her.

The thought of his own failure didn't leave him. It kept nagging him. Even when the planning stopped and was replaced by packing. He would never regret saving her life that day, but he shouldn’t have kept it from her out of pure selfishness. 

"You're sure you don't want to take any of the horses?" 

Joel didn't look at Tommy, just checked his backpack another time. 

"Maria barely agreed to grant us ammunition and meds. I doubt she would give us a horse." 

Not riding out on a horse had its advantages. It would keep them flexible, especially when they had to cross Snake River near Idaho Falls, but it meant less baggage. They could each carry a bedroll, but they wouldn't be able to take a tent. Meaning they had to seek shelter, when it got too cold at night. 

Tommy hummed behind him in disagreement, with him or more likely this whole mission.

“You think this is a good idea?”

Joel rolled his eyes and finally turned around to face his brother. Tommy was leaning in the doorway.

“No. But she is going, so I’m going. She’s not going alone. And I can't have any of the kids going with her.”

“You’ll be on the road, what, 40 days for one way?”

Like Joel didn't already know that. 

“We’ve been through worse. We came here from Boston, remember?” Joel took his jacket out of his closet and put it on, took his backpack and waited for Tommy to get out of the way. He didn't move an inch.

“And you both almost died several times, if I remember correctly.”

"Almost." Joel pushed past his brother, heading for the stairwell. Tommy followed close behind.

“Not a chance to stop her?” 

They both stopped at the front door. Ellie was waiting in front of the house discussing something with Dina, holding her hands in both of hers.

“She’s going. I can either go with her to make sure that she’s safe or I can stay here, going mad not knowing whether she is okay.”

“The fireflies may be long gone. Wouldn’t be the first time. You know that.”

“I do.”

“What if it is like last time?”

“It’s not up to me.” Joel opened the door, the girls' heads jerked upwards.

"C'mon, Joel." Tommy's tone was close to begging.

"Bye, Tommy. Don't let anyone move into my house, while I'm gone."

Tommy didn't follow them to the gate. He hugged Ellie goodbye. Ellie gave Dina a kiss and a reassuring smile. 

They kept quiet on their way to the gates. Ellie seemed lost in thought, the heavy backpack pulling her shoulders down. He spotted the little pin with the spaceship on it, when she went through the gates in front of him.

“You ready, kiddo?”

She looked young the way she stood there, Jackson’s gates closed behind her looming and huge. 

“No.” She rolled her shoulders. “Let’s go.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was the prologue. A slow beginning. 
> 
> Let me know your thoughts: on the general idea, this chapter, the ship, on what you think will or should happen.


	2. The Moon - Day 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On their way to Seattle Ellie and Joel take a break on the moon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so excited and happy about your feedback and that you guys enjoy this!
> 
> Some additional chapter warnings: suicidal/fatalistic thoughts (as in: Ellie thinking about not surviving), canon typical violence 
> 
> Thanks once again to [Scrambled Still](https://twitter.com/ScrambledStill) for your support and beta work <3

**The Moon - Day 8**

“Are you sure?” Dina’s body was warm next to hers, her voice a comforting whisper, barely more than warm breath close to Ellie’s ear. The early morning light was creeping through the windows, her backpack sat next to the door where she had left it after packing the evening before. Ellie hadn’t slept, only drifted in and out of a light slumber instead of getting the rest she would need for the way ahead of her. 

Dina had slept through the night comfortably, tucked in close, shielding them both from the cold, her breath even and calming.

“No.” Certainty was a luxury. She had given up on that. Ellie wasn’t sure if she really wanted to go. If telling him had been the right idea.

Wasn’t even sure what she hoped to find at the end of the road... 

All she knew was that she needed to try.

And that he would have come after her either way, had she headed out alone. 

“You know I could come with you, right?” The mattress shifted as Dina moved beside her and sat up. Her face was serious, as she looked down at Ellie, her unruly hair framing her face. It made Ellie smile. Made her want to stay right here in this moment. 

“I know.” She reached up, cupped Dina’s cheek with her hand. Dina closed her eyes for a moment, leaned into the touch.

“Gimme your hand.” She didn't wait for Ellie to answer, just took the bracelet off her wrist and fastened it carefully around Ellie's instead. “It’s for good luck.”

Ellie looked at the trinket, she had seen Dina wearing as long as she could remember. 

“I don’t believe in luck.”

Dina bowed down for a kiss, sweet and soft, before lying back down next to her, not an inch between them, her fingers following Ellie’s clavicle.

“I do.” Dina placed a kiss on the skin of Ellie’s shoulder. “And I need you to come back.”

_Coming back._

It echoed in Ellie’s mind since she left. 

She hadn’t told Dina that she might not be coming back. That maybe the point was to not come back in the first place. 

Maybe that was cruel. Maybe she was just selfish. 

“Ellie.” Her head jerked up; Joel’s voice close. His face concerned, maybe irritated, a deep frown on his forehead. 

“Mh?” She returned her eyes to the street, the old highway in front of them. There were barely any cars here now. No man’s land.

“You seemed miles away.”

“Yeah, I was just…” She pushed her hands inside the pockets of her jacket. “Never mind. What is it?”  
“I said there’s a storm coming and we better find some shelter.” He pointed towards the horizon, dark heavy clouds gathering. “There’s a building over there. Maybe we can get inside.” 

He was right. Right here in the middle of nowhere a couple of buildings could be seen alongside the road, not too far away.

Until now they had been lucky for the most part. No infected, except for a handful of stragglers, no terrible weather. It had been peaceful in a way. They had followed what remained of Route 26 and crossed the mountains through Pine Creek. After passing Swan Valley they had continued to follow the former highway. Crossing Snake River had been trickier, but they found a bridge near Eagle Rock and avoided Idaho Falls this way. Joel seemed dead set on avoiding any urban territory as long as possible - at least as long as they were not in need of supplies.

They had been on the road for eight days now. Ellie marked every single one in her journal, tried to take a few notes every day - even if it just was the number of the day. She didn’t even know why she did it. Wasn’t like she needed to. It just gave the never-ending days of walking some sort of structure to tell them apart. 

It was easy to get lost in the travel.

In travelling together. 

Easy to fall into the rhythm they had grown so accustomed to, when they had been on the road for months. It was like slipping into an old pair of boots you’d grown out of but didn’t have the heart to throw away. 

By now she had grown used to the constant soreness of her shoulders. The blisters on her feet had started to fade. When her legs were sore on the second day, she wished she had taken Shimmer with her, but on the fourth day that had been forgotten already. Sometimes she got lost in this feeling of just travelling together. Forgot where they were heading and why. 

At other times she could barely stand Joel’s presence. Felt rage, when he kept treating her like a raw egg that needed to be handled with utmost care. She usually shut him out then. Avoided talking to him for hours, kept a certain distance and he just... let her. Like some sort of beaten dog, which usually just fueled her rage. 

Maybe it was childish, but it felt like there wasn’t much else she was able to do. Not for now. It was hardest when all they could do was walk, follow the dead highway. At times like that she almost wished for something to happen.

Anything. 

And now she got herself a storm. 

Great.

When they finally reached the lonesome buildings, the wind had picked up so much they had to actively push against it. Ellie had given up on trying to make her hood stay on her head as cold and cruel the wind was . 

She read the sign standing in front of the main building. 

**Visitor Center**

**Craters of the Moon**

**National Monument and Preserve**

She turned around to face Joel.

"Didn't know the moon was so close."

He snorted.

"Let's see if we can get inside."

The front of the red brick building consisted mostly of shuttered or barricaded windows. The former main entrance was barricaded from the inside as well. They could read an old sign through the stained glass.

**Due to the current pandemic we regret to inform you that the Robert Limbert Visitor Center is closed until further notice.**

“If we’re lucky this means no infected inside.” 

He raised a disbelieving eyebrow at her, probably doubting that _luck_ was their friend on this trip, considering it had never really been. 

She heard Dina’s words echoing in her mind. How she would tease her _I thought you don’t believe in luck_ and smiled to herself.

Joel frowned at her.

“What?”

“Nothing. Inside joke, you wouldn’t get it.”

He rolled his eyes. 

“Let’s find a way in.” 

They walked around the building and found a parking lot and a couple more smaller buildings. There were a handful of cars, rusty and probably useless now - something to check for, when the weather was better. But it meant that there might have been people inside, who had left their cars behind. 

Hopefully not anymore.

The backdoor was barricaded as well, but they found a broken fire escape leading unto the roof, the ladder too high to reach on your own. 

“Boost me up here?” She pointed at the ladder above them. Joel nodded, leaned against the wall for support and folded his hands into a step for her. 

It felt weirder than it should have to grab his shoulder to get herself up.

Or maybe it should feel weirder than it actually did. 

They had done this countless times on their journey years ago, when they had grown into a team, to the point where they didn’t even have to ask the other to lend a hand. 

“You alright?”

For a moment she felt 14 again. She tried to shake the feeling off.

She nodded curtly and put her foot into his hands, stabilized herself on his shoulder, as he pushed her upwards. She grabbed the ladder, gave it a testing pull. When it didn’t give way, she pulled herself up and climbed up, until she reached the roof. 

“You still weigh next to nothing.” Joel called through the wind and she looked down to find him smirking. 

“And I’m surprised you can still lift me up without breaking anything.” She didn’t even try to fight the smile down this time. ”Get it, because you’re old.”

She looked up.

And froze. 

Behind the parking lot, vast and grey lay… the moon. 

From where she was standing, all she could see were just miles and miles of grey volcanic rock, craters and stones, partially covered in thawing snow. 

Only when Joel called her name startling her, was she able to pull her eyes away. 

She blinked a few times, her eyes tearing up from the harsh wind that now carried rain or even snow maybe. She shook the feeling off and got her rope from her backpack. She fastened it on the topmost step of the ladder and threw the other end down to Joel. Her gaze returned to the scenery in front of them, while she waited for him to join her. 

“You knew this was here?” She nodded towards the sight before them, when he finally stood next to her. From the corner of her eye, she could see him following her gaze. 

“The moon.” His voice was almost swallowed by the wind as they both stared at the broad open field. It seemed untouched. Unreal. Alien. 

It was his hand on her shoulder that finally pulled her out of it, his face soft and thoughtful.

“Let’s get inside, kiddo.” 

She was only able to nod, her throat tight.

They found an emergency exit with a broken lock that led into the dark building. Slowly and carefully they climbed the steps down into the darkness, following the cone of light that their flashlights threw in front of them. The growing storm pulled at the blinds, whistled through the broken windows. It was all they could hear. This and their own footsteps and breathing.

There were no signs of spores, only the damp smell of rotten wood and molding walls all the abandoned pre-outbreak buildings seemed to carry. No whimpering sounds of walkers and runners, no clickers. No other signs of infected. The building wasn’t huge, it was easy to make sure all the rooms were clear. They found some human remains in what used to be a bookshop, barely more than a skeleton, the skull bashed in years ago, clothes corroded by time and vermin, nothing to scavenge left. 

They set up camp in a former common room with old vending machines that had been emptied long ago. They found a metal bucket in a storage room and made a fire inside of it that created at least a little warmth and an orange flickering light. Then they made themselves as comfortable as possible sitting on their bedrolls.

Apart from the empty roads this was the hardest part. The breaks. When there wasn’t a way to escape each other, with nothing to do and still too much energy left to sleep. 

Joel had _that_ look again. He often wore that expression. Like he meant to ask something, unsure about overstepping and it unnerved her. 

She still couldn’t exactly tell why she joined him on the porch that night. Why she had followed the sound of his guitar, instead of heading straight home. She knew that she had missed something. The simple things. Watching a bad movie. Ranting about what was happening in town. More and more she had caught herself thinking “I’m gonna tell Joel about this” only to remember that they weren’t talking. She was sick of keeping herself away. More and more she felt like she was punishing herself by staying away.

She had been so sick of that.

Ellie looked up from the fire, when he handed her an already opened can of food.

“It’s not beans, is it?”

Joel snickered.

“No. Peaches.”

“You’ve packed fucking peaches and only now bring them up? How did you convince Maria to let you take peaches?” The sweet smell was almost nauseating, but she still reached inside and pulled a slimy fruit out of the juice, before handing it back. 

“I didn’t ask.” 

Ellie laughed, leaned back on her elbow and nibbled on the peach. It was sweet and juicy. She had not missed tinned fruit, but this was alright. 

“Dick move.”

She watched him shrug almost smugly.

The following silence was a little more comfortable. They ate the can of peaches, handing it back and forth between them. They shared the juice, then Ellie wiped her fingers on her jeans and took out her notebook, started to scribble, thoughts wandering, sketched something that faintly resembled an astronaut. 

She looked up when he cleared his throat. 

“The armband.” He gestured towards her wrist. “That new?”

She snorted.

“Yeah. It was a gift.” She put her journal away. 

“From Dina?”

Ellie bit her lip. “Yeah.”

“So…” She could see him weighing the question carefully. “You guys... She your girlfriend now?”

“Yeah, I think so.” She gently touched the bracelet. “Yes. She is.”

His smile was warm as he leaned back against the wall behind him.

“Good.”

“Why?”

“You look like she makes you happy.”

“Guess I’m lucky then.”

**Nampa - Day 16**

Whatever it was, that had been helping them - luck, destiny, pure coincidence - it did eventually run out. Maybe they had grown too used to the quiet highway and the mountains. Maybe they had been too careless or stupid. 

The thought echoed through Ellie’s mind when - while she scavenged through an old supermarket - someone grabbed her from behind and she heard the noise of a fight starting and a few gunshots and Joel calling her name. A sweaty hand covered her mouth and she instinctively bit into it. She tasted blood, the man cursed, as she struggled, and she used the moment of surprise to kick him right in the balls. He let her go immediately. She spun around.

“Motherfucker.” She spat his own blood in his face, the taste heavy and sickening on her tongue and hit him over the head with a plank that had been lying next to her feet. 

She stepped over his body, ducking back behind the shelves to follow the shouting, but didn’t make it far. Just when she found Joel who was hiding behind the cashpoint, revolver in hand she heard a clicking noise behind her and felt a cold gun barrel pressing against the back of her skull. 

“Gun down, old man, or I’m blowing her head off.”

She closed her eyes and cursed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Craters of the Moon are a real thing. You can read more about them [here](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Craters_of_the_Moon_National_Monument_and_Preserve) and [here](https://www.nps.gov/crmo/planyourvisit/visitor-center.htm) about the visitor center Joel and Ellie are hiding in. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter (and the little cliffhanger). Let me know your thoughts!


	3. Nampa - Day 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An escape is a team effort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you've been waiting for this one, so here we go.
> 
> Chapter warnings: more canon-typical violence, injured main character

**Nampa - Day 16**

“Don’t you fucking touch me!” 

The thug gave Ellie a push into the cell Joel was already in. She turned around immediately, tried to grab the guy through the bars of the already closed cell door but missed him by a few inches. 

“Asshole.” 

Joel put a hand on her shoulder. She didn’t flinch or shook it off this time, just continued her fuming, ignored by their captor. 

The men that had jumped them in the supermarket had brought them into an old police station. They had taken hold of their guns and backpacks, before bringing them down into the cellar with the holding cells. Joel had not been able to figure out who they were. They had not killed them immediately, seemed too unorganized for a militia. Maybe just a pack of hunters. Maybe something worse.

Maybe it didn't really matter.

They were not the only people held captive in here. In front of the cells a man was tied to a chair, arms stretched behind his back, head hanging. He might have been asleep, unconscious or even dead. Joel couldn’t see his face, just a pair of broad shoulders, a tattooed arm and a head of dirty brownish hair. The captive didn’t even flinch when the guard kicked him against a leg. Only when the thug disappeared shortly, returning with a bucket and emptied a gallon of water over his head, he came to life coughing and spluttering, his arms pulling against the ropes holding him to the back of the chair with a wild groan that resembled a caged animal. 

“No sleeping, Cinderella.” The guard patted the man’s cheek, tone mocking. 

The stranger turned his head away from the unwanted hand and mumbled something, Joel didn’t catch, but it caught the guard’s attention again, when he had already almost reached the stairwell.

“What did you say?” The guard turned back around. 

“I said-” The captive raised his head. His voice was hoarse, yet venomous. Taunting. “It’s Sleeping Beauty,” 

Ellie snorted. The guard's head napped towards her, then back to the other man.

“What?”

The man leaned back as much as possible, probably to release some of the pressure on his arms.

“The tale about the sleeping princess. It’s not Cinderella.”

“You think you’re funny?” 

The guard didn’t wait for an answer, just punched the man in the face, hard enough that the chair lost its footing and fell to the side, bringing the man to the ground with it in front of Joel’s and Ellie’s cell. The guard kicked him once.

“When the boss gets here, he’s gonna fuck you up, Morgan. Let’s see if you’re jesting then.” He went out, leaving the captive lying in the puddle of dirty water he had been woken up with earlier.

“Son of a bitch.” The man tried to move his arms, testing the ropes again, but they didn’t appear to budge. 

“Hey.” Ellie reached with her leg through the bars and pushed the man with the tip of her foot against one of his arms. The man’s head moved upwards. “Think you can move closer?”

Joel frowned. 

“And then what?”

“I still got my pocketknife. They didn’t see it.”

Joel looked at her in surprise. They had been lucky after all. 

“What? You wanna stab me in the back with it?”

“Maybe we can help each other out.”

The man seemed to contemplate this for a moment, but finally started to find a way to push himself closer, though his feet didn’t find a good hold on the floor tiles and he barely moved, only scooted a little closer, but still too far away for Ellie to reach him or at least the chair. 

Ellie looked at Joel expectantly, raised her eyebrows and nodded her head in the man’s direction.

Joel didn’t like this. He had no reason to trust this stranger, had no reason to believe he wouldn’t just run and leave them behind as soon as he was free. But they didn’t really have a whole lot of options. Begrudgingly, he knelt down and reached through the bars.

“You need to push a little more.”

The man huffed.

“I’m tryin’.”

The man drove his heels into the floor again, threw his whole weight in it. The wood dragged across the floor, until he was finally close enough that Joel was able to grab one of the legs of the chair and pull him towards their cell. Close enough that the stranger's tied hands were easily reachable. Before Ellie got a chance to cut the rope open, he stopped her.

“Give me your knife.” He took it out of her hands before she was even able to answer, let it fly open and reached through the bars again. Instead of going for the rope, he went for the man’s throat, pressed the blade against the vulnerable flesh. Joel felt how he swallowed. The skin was slippery with blood, grime and sweat. Hot. Feverish. 

"And who’s telling me that you won’t leave us in here to rot?”

The man’s voice was calm as he answered, Joel had to give him that. If he was afraid, he didn’t let it show. 

“No one. But if you cut my throat, you’ve got nothin’ and they’re just gonna hunt you down for sport, when they find out you ain’t worth anythin'.”

Joel let a second pass, another, felt the man swallow again, his breathing shallow. He visibly relaxed when Joel finally let go and went for the ropes instead. When they gave way, revealing bruised bloody skin underneath, the man groaned in pain and obvious relief. 

“Jesus.” He slowly freed himself from the chair, rolled on his back, his face a pained grimace. There was fresh blood on his face, probably from the punch he had received earlier but the copper colored stains on his undershirt were definitely older. He reached for his left shoulder, made another pained sound, slowly sat up and stretched his arms carefully. With a hiss he wiped the blood from his nose away with his forearm. 

It was the sound of steps that spurred him into action. He hid next to the stairwell, pressed against the wall and grabbed the guard, when he passed him by unnoticed. It wasn’t a long struggle. He broke the guard’s neck almost too easily, the snap of the breaking spine sickening. The man didn’t seem to mind too much, his actions seemed almost routine. It reminded Joel too much of himself. 

The man lowered the lifeless body to the floor and searched his pockets, threw the key he found towards their cell and picked the guard’s gun up. Ellie reacted first, got the keys and let them out of the cell. If she was in any way fazed by what had happened, she didn’t show it. 

“We need our bags.” 

Joel handed her knife back to her and followed her out of the cell and towards the man who was leaning against the wall. He had a bruise just below his hairline, probably from when he had hit the floor earlier. A thin trickle of blood was dripping onto his brow. 

“You’re not the only one, missy.” 

“Ellie.” She corrected him.

“Pleasure. Arthur.”

Joel looked _Arthur_ over. The ragged heavy breathing. Feverish look. 

“You don’t look too good.” Joel stated. 

“Quite the charmer, ain’t we?”

Ellie offered a lopsided smile. 

“That’s Joel for ya.”

Joel resisted the urge to roll his eyes at her fake mocking accent.

Arthur checked the magazine of the gun, counted the remaining bullets, before turning towards them. 

“I know a place to lie low. Caldwell. Roughly 3 hours from here. If we can make it there, we’ll probably be safe.”

“And how do we know you won’t shoot us in the back on our way there?” Joel crossed his arms, eyes flitting between Arthur and the stairwell, listening carefully in case of any hostile reinforcements.

Arthur huffed and turned to Ellie.

“He always like that?”

Joel heard Ellie snort a little. 

“You get used to it. You know a way out of here?” She asked. 

“I know these boys haven't set foot into Caldwell since it’s been overrun by the horde.”

“So, you think it’s a good idea to lead us there?” Joel could think of a lot of things that seemed better than potentially running right into the horde.

“You can stay here, partner, for all I care. But as I see it, I’m currently your best chance outta here.”

Joel didn’t like this one bit, but he had a point. 

“Alright.” Joel went for the chair and broke one of the legs off with a kick. It would do as a weapon for the time being. Arthur shot him an approving look and nodded.

Arthur rolled his shoulders again. “I say we get our stuff, maybe grab some supplies on the way. Get out without being seen if possible. If we can get to the parking garage next door, we can get into the sewers.”

Ellie made a face.

“Sewers. Great. Can't wait.” 

“Okay, let’s go, before they come lookin' for their little buddy here.” 

“Lead the way.” Joel gestured up the stairs with the chair leg. 

“So I can’t shoot you in the back?”

“So you can’t shoot us in the back.”

Arthur snorted, but still went on to climb the stairs in front of them. He was surprisingly quick and quiet for a man his size and built. It obviously wasn’t his first time making his way through a hostile territory. He was too calm for that despite his injuries. Not far from the last steps two other guards were posted, their backs turned and distracted by a conversation.

Ellie and Joel exchanged a look, silently discussing their plan to take them out. Ellie jumped the left one. He was taller and bigger than her, but she took him by surprise, her knife in his throat before he was even able to react. He stumbled to the ground, his hands grasping his throat in shock and disbelief. At the same time Joel grabbed the second one, held him tight, one arm pressing on his throat, cutting off his air supply, until he stopped moving. It was almost too easy. The times where things like this kept him awake at night were long gone.

It was Ellie who disturbed him. 

He watched her wiping off her fingers and blade on her jeans. Her hands were calm. It still felt wrong. It had felt wrong from the moment he had first given her the rifle on their journey. Her life shouldn’t be like that.

She shouldn’t be like him. 

“You okay?” He asked her under his breath and got a frown in return. 

“Sure, why wouldn’t I?” 

"Nevermind." 

They were able to avoid any other encounters as they looked for the storage room. Finally, they found a guy in a former office, enthralled with rummaging through Ellie’s backpack. 

“Hey, asshole. That’s not your shit.”

The man turned as he heard Ellie’s voice and Joel knocked him out with the chair leg. 

They grabbed their gear, Arthur mumbling and cursing under his breath as he dug through the supplies and put on the heavy blue coat the thug had been wearing. Joel watched as he gathered a book from the table, a couple of cans and ammunition, put them into a backpack and grabbed a rifle after inspecting it carefully. He didn't put the backpack on, just let it hang from his right shoulder, avoiding putting any weight on his left side. 

“Hey, Marty, the prisoners are gone!” The call startled them, immediately had them head for the door, but just as they passed through, Joel felt himself being grabbed from behind. It was a short struggle. One moment the man was holding onto him, the next he sank to the floor, being shot in the head, Joel's ears ringing from the gunshot. Arthur reloaded his gun. It had been a close call, the bullet had just so missed Joel, one well-placed shot. Joel wiped blood splatters from his face. 

The shot was too clean. Too good for some random trespasser.

“You’re welcome.”

Immediately footsteps and shouting could be heard.

“You alerted the whole building.” Joel hissed at him and saw Arthur shaking his head in disbelief.

“Next time I just let you be killed.”

Ellie grabbed his arm.

“Why are you acting like such a dick?”

“I’m not - “ Another gunshot interrupted him, this time not a saving one. 

“Get movin’.”

They found a way through the building, managing to avoid any more conflict and finally found a broken window to get out. They ran the last part towards the parking garage, hurried down a stairwell into the lowest level. They found an entry to the sewers there, the ladder steps slippery with moss and rust. 

It was quiet. The air smelled foul and moist, almost sickening. No one seemed to be following them. 

“Give me a minute.” 

Arthur leaned against a sewer wall; his breathing heavy. He grabbed his left shoulder again.

“How far is that safehouse of yours?” Joel shook his flashlight and it lit up. 

Arthur’s eyes shot to Joel. “It’s 9 miles. We should make it.”

“Why were they holding you like this?” Joel inspected his own shotgun, checked the ammo. 

“What’s it to you?”

“Seemed personal.”

Ellie made an impatient and annoyed sound behind him.

Arthur huffed out an unamused laugh and pushed himself off the wall and into movement. 

“‘T’was. Ain’t one of them, if that’s what you’re askin’.”

“I wasn’t .”

Arthur eyeballed him, squinted.

“Sure”, he finally said and headed down into the tunnel. Ellie followed closely, Joel on her heels. 

They were slower than Joel liked. Arthur had to take several breaks but refused to sit down each time, only took the time to take a few gulps from a water bottle from his backpack he still only carried on his right shoulder. It was hard to tell in the jarring light of their flashlights and with the blood and dirt drying on his face, but he seemed to be losing color. Several times Joel was sure he would faint and sink to the floor, but something, adrenaline or sheer willpower, kept him on his feet.

When they reached the ladder that would lead them back to the surface, Arthur barely made it up the steps, stumbled and bumped into Ellie, who caught him just so. He mumbled a tired apology and pointed towards a building that might have been white and clean once, but was now covered in moss and the paint had turned into a washed-out grey, the tree line was close to reclaiming the parking lot and the building with it. It seemed like a matter of time until roots and branches would break through the walls. A moldy sign read _Caldwell Church of Christ_. Across the street was a dilapidated Wallgreens. A sad _Pharmacy_ sign had lost several letters, so it now read _ha m cy._

At least two handfuls of infected shuffled across the parking lot. 

Arthur must have registered the disturbance on Joel’s face. 

“The church will be clear.” He kept his voice down. Or maybe he was too exhausted to speak louder. It was hard to tell. 

As quiet as possible they made their way to the church up to a window that was too high to reach.

“If you can get through there -” Arthur winced again. “- you can open the door from the inside.”

Ellie didn’t need to be asked twice, just waited for Joel to boost her up. One would assume that after all this time he would be less nervous sending her into an unknown building, but he had not been able to shake it off. He was relieved, when the backdoor opened just a few moments later and Ellie reappeared unharmed. 

They followed Arthur into a vast room where once mass might have taken place. The way it looked now, it reminded Joel of Bill’s place. There was a bedroll, a small fireplace at the end of the hall where once an altar might have stood, even though it looked like it had been abandoned quite some time ago. 

Arthur sank to the floor, his back to the wall, as soon as they reached the little camp. He seemed pale, sick, close to fainting. 

Joel and Ellie exchanged a look.

“You’re infected.” Joel didn’t pose it as a question, but Arthur just laughed humorlessly. 

“No.” He somehow managed to focus and look at Joel, his eyes glassy and feverish. The white around his left eye was red. “Not like that at least.” 

He shrugged the jacket off, winced again and pushed the strap of his undershirt on his left shoulder to the side, revealing an angry looking wound. An object, possibly an arrow was buried in the flesh, the wooden shaft broken off and the head barely visible. The skin around it was red and swollen. 

“How long has this been in there?” Joel shrugged his backpack off. 

“Since they got me... three days ago, I think.”

“Shit.” Ellie said, she seemed nervous now. 

“We need to get this out.” Joel knelt next to Arthur. “We need to clean the wound and close it, or it will get worse.”

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's love at first knife.


	4. Caldwell - Day 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellie knew that an inflamed wound could bring the strongest man to his knees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: wound cleaning, (possibly inaccurate) medical procedures, blood, pain.

**Caldwell - Day 16**

“Anything in this place of yours that can help us patch you up?”

“There’s some clean water stored in the storage room.” Arthur’s voice sounded weak, speech slow. Like it was hard to come up with an answer. “Scavenged the pharmacy across the street some while ago, might be some stuff left. Don’t know what exactly.”

“You got it. Ellie?”

Ellie was staring at the wound, the angry red flesh, the swollen skin. Arthur looked like shit. There was no pretty way to put it. His breath was leaving him in ragged huffs. There was sweat on his forehead, his hair sticking to the skin in damp dirty strands.

“Ellie.”

It wasn’t her first time seeing an inflamed wound like this. Not her first time witnessing how an infection could bring a grown man to his knees, burning him out in the fight against the fever, however invincible he might have seemed before. 

“Hey!” Joel appeared in her field of vision, obscuring her view. 

“What?” She snapped back at him without thinking, causing him to frown in irritation. He bowed down a little, putting his hands on her shoulders. They were steady. Calm. Warm. 

“I need you to stay focused. Can you do that?”

She closed her eyes for a moment, took two deep breaths and opened them again. 

“Yes.”

His eyes stayed locked with hers a little longer, confusion so obviously written on his face it would have been hilarious under different circumstances. 

“Can you get the water and check for the medkit?”

She nodded. 

He squeezed her shoulders in reassurance, then let go and turned back to Arthur who was still leaning against the wall, eyes closed. 

“Anything else we should know of?” 

Ellie didn’t wait for Arthur’s answer, but went straight for the room Arthur had pointed them towards. A former restroom had been turned into some kind of storage.    
There was a stack with well-worn clothes, a few bottles of booze. The water was easy to find, the medkit required some searching. She found it behind a stack of books - most of them she had never heard of. She took the topmost one, put it in her backpack and went for the first-aid-kit. Inside she found bandaging materials, anti-inflammatory painkillers and a random collection of different drugs - no penicillin or other antibiotics though. She took the bandages and painkillers, gathered one of the water bottles and a bottle of booze.

When she returned to the main room Arthur was lying on his back without the dirty undershirt he had been wearing. There was an ugly violet bruise on his ribcage where their guard had kicked him earlier. Not far from him Joel was rummaging through his own supplies. He had shrugged off his jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. As soon as she came closer he looked up. 

“Found anything useful?”

“Bandages still look good, there’s some anti-inflammatory drugs, no antibiotics though.” She held up the bottle of whiskey she had taken with her. “And some pain meds.” 

On the floor Arthur gave out a weak laugh. 

“That’s a smart kid you got there.”

Joel ignored the comment, got up and joined her carrying a bottle of disinfectant and the one pillbox of antibiotics Maria had officially allowed them to take. 

“Put that hooch away for later. It doesn’t mix well with that.” He pointed to the bottle of ibuprofen she was holding. “I’m gonna try and get that arrow out. You can check the place out.”

“No, I’m fine it’s just -” Ellie took a deep breath. “Fuck memories, am I right?” 

He snorted and nodded.

“You’re right, kiddo.”

“Joel said no fun for you, sorry.” She put the whiskey bottle away and knelt down next to Arthur’s right. His unharmed right arm was mostly covered in a dark detailed tattoo, with a deer or a stag on his forearm surrounded by trees and the head of a wolf on his upper arm, almost looming above the other animal. The topmost part of the tattoo was left unfinished, only outlines of trees and the ears of the wolves waiting to be filled.

“What a spoilsport.” 

“He’s like that sometimes.”   
Joel didn’t comment on it as he sat down next to Arthur’s other side.

“We have some antibiotics with us.” He held up the pill bottle so Arthur could see them. 

Arthur frowned at the bottle.

“You don’t have to-” 

Joel interrupted him. “And I don’t want to, but you saved my life, so we’re even.”

“You must be fun at parties.”

Ellie didn’t try to fight the chuckle down. Up close the wound still looked painful, but not  _ like that. _ Arthur looked tired, but not lifeless. 

The sharp stench of disinfectant reached her nose as Joel cleaned his hands with it. Arthur got up on his elbows as Ellie handed him some ibuprofen and the bottle of drinking water. He swallowed two pills followed by the antibiotics with a huge gulp and carefully lowered himself back onto the ground. 

“You wanna bite on something?” Joel asked.

“Just get it over with.”

Joel raised his eyebrows.

“Whatever you say.”

And with that Joel started to pull the arrowhead out. Arthur’s pained grunt was the sound of an animal crying out in agony. He obviously tried to keep it down as much as possible. Ellie pressed on his right shoulder, tried to keep him from moving as much as she could. 

Concerned, she looked at Joel who was concentrating on his task. 

“Can’t you just pull it out?”

“I don’t need to cause more damage than already there.”   
It would have been a blessing if Arthur had just passed out. He didn’t. He bit back screams, while Joel carefully extracted the arrow. When he finally pulled the last part of the head out, Arthur was so drenched in sweat that Ellie’s hands holding him down were slippery. The open wound that had been closed by the arrow until now had started bleeding heavily. Joel reached for the can and carefully poured water over it, cleaning it as much as possible, before he took some bandaging and pressed it down hard on the wound. Once again Arthur cried out. Joel kept the pressure on it for what felt like an eternity. Only then Arthur finally passed out. Maybe from the pain, maybe from exhaustion. He was breathing unevenly through his mouth, his nose probably clogged with blood. 

After what felt like an eternity Joel let go, took the bandage away. The bleeding had mostly ceased from the pressure applied. Ellie watched as he carefully sewed the wound together and bandaged it afterwards, while she helped holding Arthur’s upper body up, so Joel could reach around to fasten the bandages. 

Arthur was still knocked out cold, when he was done.

“Hey, big guy, we could need some help here moving you,” Joel’s trials to wake him up were futile. 

“Help me move him to the bedroll over there.” It was easier said than done. Arthur was both taller and bigger than Joel. Eventually they ended up rolling him on his coat and pulled him on the coat towards the bedroll and left him on it. Ellie went looking for a blanket in that storage room, but didn’t find anything. When she returned Joel had started to get a fire burning and had covered Arthur with his own jacket. 

Ellie took her own jacket off and put it on the ground to sit down on. It was once again Joel who made her look up as he placed Arthur’s backpack down in front of her. 

“See if you can find anything that could tell us more about who he is. I want to know who we’re dealing with.”

“Seems pretty rude.” 

He shrugged and sat down next to her, examining Arthur’s rifle. The long gun seemed well-tended. He showed her an engraving at the stock. 

_ A.M. _

The contents of the backpack were the usual ones you would find with most survivors. Some food cans. A second set of clothes. A bar of soap. Ammunition. Water. A flask with ugly smelling booze. A health kit with basic equipment. A razor. A gas mask.

A bottle of gun oil. Two old packages of pre outbreak cigarettes that made Ellie wrinkle her nose.

There were no name tags. Nothing indicating his identity. No dog tags or gang signs. There was a hunting knife, sharp and with a carved handle. A whetstone. A gun belt with a holster. The holstered gun was just as well-tended as the rifle had been, cleaned regularly and cared for. 

The last thing Ellie pulled out was a leather bound journal. She weighed it in her hands.

“What is it?” Joel asked as he probably sensed her hesitation. 

She flicked through the pages without reading any of the words. It seemed to be a diary not unlike hers, the pages inscribed with cursive handwriting and hand drawn pictures, mostly of plants and animals, sometimes people. Tucked between the pages were several photos. A happy looking dog. A print of a mugshot of a man. A young woman with a young boy on her lap, taken after the outbreak if her surroundings were anything to go by. The last one was some sort of family portrait, maybe taken at a birthday party. It showed a young slightly smug looking man in his late teens or early twenties with two older men standing arm in arm behind him. She put the photos back.

“Found anything?”

She shook her head. “Nothing helpful.” She put everything back in the bag.

“What are we going to do about him?”

“We wait.” Joel sorted through their food supplies.

“Who do you think he is?”

“I don’t know.” Joel leaned back against the wall, eyes on Arthur’s sleeping form. “But they didn’t just keep him as a prisoner like us. That was torture and it was personal. He’s got scars that aren’t new.”

“You’ve got scars, too.”

Joel looked up at her. 

Sometimes she forgot. Blissfully. That the Joel in Jackson, who played his guitar on his back porch, traded a good pair of boots for one cup worth of coffee and who had a ridiculous fascination for cowboy paintings wasn’t all he was. She of all people should know this. 

She had spoken to those ex-fireflies in Jackson, had heard them mention the  _ massacre _ in the St. Mary’s Hospital.

He didn’t trust Arthur, because in a way he might have been him at some point in his life. 

**Caldwell - Day 17**

Arthur slept for 12 hours straight. 

He woke for the first time during Ellie’s guard shift, jolting awake as if from a nightmare. He looked around, confusion and disorientation on his face. Reached for his shoulder, then sank back onto his makeshift bed with a groan. 

Ellie got up, the can of spam she had been eating in hand and strolled over, slow so that she wouldn’t spook him. She knelt down next to him and put the can down.

“How are we feeling?” She offered him some water and another round of drugs.

“Not dead.”

She snorted.

“That’s something.”

With her help he slowly sat up and took the meds and water she handed to him. With a frown he picked up Joel’s jacket that had served as his blanket. 

“I’m surprised you’re still here. Your old man didn’t seem too keen of me.”

For a moment Ellie thought about correcting him, her eyes jumping to Joel who was sleeping on his bedroll. They had discussed the possibility of leaving Arthur here by himself with some medical supplies and continuing their journey, but not even Joel had argued for leaving the man behind who helped them escape.

“He’ll get over it, eventually.”

Arthur seemed better, still pale and exhausted but the fever seemed gone. He gave Ellie Joel’s jacket and wrapped himself in his own coat refusing her help putting it on.

“Hungry?” She offered him the can of meat that she hated with a burning passion. He nodded and proceeded to slowly eat from the can.

“When you haven’t eaten in days this tastes like heaven.”

“Hard to believe.”

He laughed a little and gestured towards his own backpack.

“Found anythin’ interestin’?”

She stared at him in surprise, but he only smiled.

“I’m not just as dumb as I look.”

“I didn’t read your journal.”

His brows went up.

“Why not?”

“Because I would kill every fucker that reads mine.” 

He chuckled.

“Fair enough.”

He didn't stay awake for long, just emptied the can of spam, drank some more water and tucked himself into his coat.

**Caldwell - Day 19**

When Arthur woke again two days later, he appeared to be much better rested. Joel and Ellie had taken turns staying awake and he had mostly just eaten, taken his meds and drunk water only to fall back asleep again immediately, like he had some serious catching up to do. Joel and Ellie were checking their route on the map, when his voice interrupted them.

“So where were you two heading when the O’Driscoll boys caught you?” 

Ellie turned around to find him sitting on his coat, eyes curious and awake.

“The coast.” Joel answered, before Ellie could even think of anything too innocuous. Arthur snorted, shook his head. He got up, slowly but by himself and picked up his backpack from the floor. 

“I need to get to Kennewick. And around here, you need every extra gun you can get.” 

Leaving them to their decisions, he headed into another room where Ellie had found an improvised restroom the other day with a barrel of rainwater to wash up. 

“He has a point.” Ellie beat Joel to it whose eyes were on Arthur’s back with a frown. “He seems to know the area better than we do.”

Joel didn’t answer, just gritted his teeth. 

“You know I’m right,” she insisted.

Joel held up both hands in defeat.

“Alright.”

When Arthur returned, he looked  _ different. _ His face was still roughed up with a split lip, a nasty yellow bruise on his jaw and dark circles around his eyes that were probably the result of a broken nose, but there was an actual handsome face under the dried blood and dirt. Maybe Joel noticed it too, at least the expression he wore was almost a little comical. 

Arthur had put on a dark red well worn sweatshirt Ellie had seen in his backpack. Ars Arthur joined them, he lit a cigarette on the fire and hooked his thumbs into his gunbelt.

“So what’s the plan?” The cigarette jumped up and down with every word. Ellie wrinkled her nose at the smell. 

Joel’s expression was impossible to read as he looked up at Arthur.

“We’re heading out tomorrow morning. You better be ready by then.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know the first thing about how to deal with a wound like this in the post apocalypse without a doctor, but I tried to do as best as I could with my research. 
> 
> Ellie mentions here that Joel likes cowboys and .. I didn't have to make this up for the fic because in TLoU2 his house is filled with cowboy or wild west paintings and he's working on a carving of a rodeo cowboy... So. Joel's really into cowboys and I didn't have to make that up.


	5. Boise River - Day 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Arthur was sure of one thing, it was that Joel didn't like to have him around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: wound cleaning (not graphic)

**Boise River - Day 20**

“Lead the way, then.”

It was clear that the man wasn’t keen on letting Arthur lead them anywhere. 

Or rather keen on anything that involved Arthur, but least of all trusting and following him that much was obvious.

Arthur had dealt with worse. And yet it was a trip of more or less ten days to Kennewick and the prospect of spending them with someone who would rather see him dead in the dirt with another arrow in his back wasn’t the best one. If not for the girl who had inexplicably taken a liking to him like he was some lost mongrel dog, Arthur would have considered tackling the way on his own. But she had been right: there was strength in numbers. 

After quite some back and forth they had agreed on taking the route through Caldwell. It was the shortest way, although not the safest, but it wasn’t the first time Arthur had made his way through the town. He knew how to avoid most of the infected. It would slow them down, but it was the best and easiest way to cross Boise River and then follow the stream bed until it flowed into Snake River. Arthur remembered a bridge near Nyssa.

Remembered it all too well from watching it through the scope of his rifle. Well, until he got hit on the head, that was. 

He had told Dutch that it was a set up. He’d told him. Hosea had told him and yet here Arthur was. With a wound in his shoulder from being shot with his own bow, aching ribs and a broken nose and two new companions. A scrawny girl who cursed like a sailor and could kill a man with a pocketknife with ease and her likely father who was probably wishing for Arthur’s early demise. At least he was nice to look at. 

Anyway, Nyssa. That was their only set destination for the day. Get to the bridge. If safe: find a way across. Roughly 30 miles was a realistic goal for one day. 

At least under regular circumstances. When you weren’t recovering from an infected wound in your shoulder. 

Pain was something Arthur had grown accustomed to over the years. Different kinds of pain, sure. It was an old acquaintance. By now he knew far too many facets of it. 

The throbbing pain in his shoulder was just another shade of it - even numbed down by the painkillers he had been given. 

It wasn’t so much the pain that bugged him, it was the way it slowed him down. How hard it made it to keep up with the same pace of his new companions. It would only be a matter of time until he fell back. Not much at first, but enough that it bugged him. 

So much for leading the way. 

It seemed as much as Joel didn’t like him to lead, he didn’t like him slowing them down either. 

As soon as they left the urban territory of Caldwell, it was Joel who set the pace for them, just a little bit too fast for Arthur to keep up, until eventually the girl fell back and matched her pace with his. She had a bow slung over her shoulder, a couple of arrows sticking out from her backpack. One she had left inside a clicker brain earlier.

“You alright?”

“Sure.” In comparison to being tied to a chair awaiting further torture, he probably was alright. 

“Well, you look like shit.”

“Nah, that’s just my face.”

She snorted and shook her head. Joel kept ahead of them. Not too far away, still in listening distance, but he seemed to have no intention of joining them. 

“You’re not bad with that.” Arthur said after a while of quiet walking.

“What?”

“The bow.”

“Oh.” She made a surprised face. “Thanks.”

“How long have you two been on the road?” Arthur tried to sound casual, not inquiring. Judging by how he had seen them work together it must have been quite some time. When they ventured through the suburbs of Caldwell, trying not to be spotted by clickers he had watched them. They didn’t talk much, almost seemed to avoid it but they seemed to _know_ each other, rarely needed more than a quick exchange of glances and a nod to help each other out, to decide who would put the walker out of its misery. It was mostly Arthur who disturbed their routine, sand in a well-oiled machine. They were used to _surviving_ together. To improvise. Rely on each other. 

“Just a couple of weeks.”

It was Ellie who called for a sort of lunch break, even though Arthur was sure she didn’t need one. They were near Notus, not even halfway to Nyssa. 

“We’re too slow. If we keep going at this pace, we won’t be even near that bridge before dark.” Joel didn’t address Arthur, didn’t say _he slows us down_ , but he didn’t really need to. Arthur got the hint just fine. 

Boise River was flowing peacefully next to them, the riverside overgrown by trees. They would have been faster if they had followed Route 26 instead of making their path through the former fields that had been reconquered by wilderness. They would have been faster without Arthur as dead weight. 

“Just what is your fucking problem?!” Ellie shot back before Arthur was even able to think of a comeback. Joel looked like he had been struck in the face, one moment he seemed ready to bite back, a moment later he clenched his jaw, swallowed his answer and began rummaging around in his backpack. 

“Fuck this.” She got to her feet in an instant, seemingly fuming, and headed for the tree line, only turning back around, when Joel tried to follow her. 

“Don’t fucking follow me, Joel. Just leave me the fuck alone, okay?”

And with that she left them behind.

To call the following silence uncomfortable was...an understatement. It was a silence that was better left alone. To be fair Arthur had never been really good at shutting up when he was supposed to be. 

“So, what was that about?” 

“None of your business.”

Arthur held both his hands up in defeat. 

“Just askin’.”

The look Joel shot him made Arthur wish he had chosen to travel alone. 

That was the confusing part about his new companions. As much as they were able to _survive_ together, they seemed to avoid each other in pretty much every other way. When Ellie returned a little later with a better mood and they continued their path she stayed with Arthur, leaving Joel to lead them along the river, always a few steps ahead of them. 

“Was that all your stuff in that church?”

“Huh?” He turned his head away from the back of Joel’s head and looked at her in confusion. 

“Like the books.”

“Mostly. Why?”

“Maybe I stole one.”

“ _Maybe_?” Joel echoed in front of them in a tone that seemed almost amused. 

“Yeah, so I stole one. Sorry.” Neither did she look nor sound in any way apologetic. It was impressive in a way. Disarming. “I would have stolen something for you, Joel, but there was nothing with cowboys in it.”

Arthur snorted, while Joel made a dismissive gesture and shook his head. The change in tone between them was irritating. Like they were constantly treading on a thin line and overstepping it could lead to an explosion like the one before.

“What did you steal?”

“Pride and .. something?”

“Pride and Prejudice. That’s not a bad one. Took me some time to find it.”

“I saw the movie.”

Arthur’s gaze returned to Joel’s back in front of them.

“Which one?”

“Both.”

“You’ve watched too many movies, Joel.”

It was hard to imagine the man in front of him, with the revolver tucked inside his back pocket and a shotgun bound to his backpack, sitting down to watch a movie. Even less spending time in a theater. 

Ellie talking, the back and forth between them, made it easier. 

“So what does a fella have to do that he’ll warm up to you a little?” Arthur asked after a while, interrupting Ellie who was humming a song he didn’t know. In response to her confused look he pointed at Joel. 

Ellie laughed. "If you ever get your hands on some coffee, give it to him and he will probably just marry you off the spot. He sold his best winter coat for a bag of beans.”

Joel’s “ _Ellie.”_ in front of them sounded almost like a warning. One that only seemed to amuse her. 

Joel didn't look like the type of fella who would sell his soul for a bag of beans. More like a man who would kill a guy over said coffee after finding out where his supplier lived.

"Why ‘you helpin’ me?"

"Because I will dump you both if I have to keep up with his attitude ‘til Kennewick and it pisses me the hell off." Apparently, she thought Arthur was still talking about how to get into Joel’s good graces. 

“That ain’t what I’m talkin’ ‘bout.”

“Why _wouldn’t_ we help you?”

Arthur could name a lot of reasons why it wasn’t wise to travel with a stranger.

Why he wasn’t a trustworthy travel companion. 

Why Joel was right to be wary. 

Joel turned out to be right about something else. They had been too slow. It got dark before they could even spot the bridge, they had only just reached Snake River when they had to call it a day. They found shelter in an old farmhouse near Apple Valley. After making sure it was clear they closed the window shutters and lit a fire in the old fireplace. 

If not for the rotting furniture, it could have been cozy. 

Arthur didn’t remember dozing off on the creaky moldy sofa, just coming alive with a groan, his shoulder throbbing. The room was filled with the smell of warm food. Meat. Stew. Someone must have headed out to hunt earlier. 

Arthur grabbed the medkit from his backpack and downed some painkillers and another round of antibiotics with a large gulp of water from his bottle. Time to change the bandages, then grab something to eat. 

He shrugged out of his coat. Getting out of the shirt was harder without putting strain on the wound, but he somehow managed.

"You need help with that." 

Arthur looked up in surprise.

Joel was looking at him expectantly from his place on the floor next to the fireplace. He appeared to have just finished his portion of dinner, while Ellie was asleep tucked inside her bedroll. He didn’t really sound like he was offering or asking, more like stating something obvious. Or informing him. Otherwise his face remained hard to read. 

Arthur didn't like needing help. Even less so from a stranger who only barely tolerated his presence. But he wasn’t stupid or stubborn enough to decline. Changing the bandages alone was near impossible, he wasn't even able to have a proper look at the wound by himself.

"Thank you."

Joel didn't say _You're welcome_ , just got the bottle of disinfectant from his backpack.

Joel sat down next to him - the sofa gave out a painful creak - and looked through Arthur’s medical supplies. Then he sanitized his hands and started to carefully unwrap the bandages. As Joel took a look at the wound, Arthur watched his face closely. The tired yet determined expression. The fading scar over his nose. 

"How much does it hurt?"

"Less than with the arrow in it."

A discontent frown drew deep lines on Joel’s forehead.

Arthur tried not to flinch when Joel put a hand on his forehead without a warning to check his temperature. His hand was warm. 

"You don't seem to have a fever."

"I could have told you that."

“You could have lied.”

 _Of course_.

They fell into silence as Joel carefully cleaned the area of the wound with boiled water and a pad of mull, a concentrated expression on his face. 

“So, who were these boys?” Joel asked after a while, almost too casual just after he had put the pad down again. 

“What boys?”

Arthur had learned long ago that playing stupid worked out more often than it didn’t. Being underestimated was usually helpful. 

If his counterpart bought it, that was. Joel definitely didn’t. His eyes left his task for a quick second to look at him, his hand remaining on Arthur’s shoulder, his thumb on the edge of the wound not exactly pressing down on it, but as if to show him that he easily could. 

“Those boys you called O’Driscoll’s and who knew your name. Who kept you alive and tortured you for several days for their boss until we arrived?” 

Arthur knew what the lingering hand on his shoulder was. 

The gravel in his voice he only kept low so the girl wouldn’t wake up. 

The _I patched you up, I can rip you apart again._

Arthur had no idea who this man was who needed to get to the coast with his daughter, but he knew what he wasn’t. 

When he wasn’t talking to the girl his face was hard. He wasn’t nervous, not now, not a few days ago pressing a knife against Arthur’s throat. He had not been bothered by the violence around them. He hadn’t killed with desperation, but skill, his hands steady. 

“A gang.” Arthur weighed his words carefully, made sure not to move, to remain calm. His gaze met the other man’s eyes. “My family and their boss had a... disagreement.”

“And you expect me to believe that?”

“Why don’t you tell me what a guy like you and a kid like her -” He nodded his head in the direction of Ellie’s sleeping form. “- are doin’ here all alone in no man’s land.”

“Travelling.”

“Bullshit.” Arthur spat the word out and felt Joel’s finger digging slightly into his shoulder. “You’re not one of them clueless city slickers the O’Driscoll’s usually catch. You’re a killer and hell knows what she is.”

Arthur wondered if he could take the man in a fight. He had the advantage of mass and surprise, but that was basically it. Joel wasn’t wounded, he might have a couple years on Arthur, but was far from slow or weak. And the girl would probably shoot him before he could make a run for it, the trust she had previously extended towards him most certainly only going so far. 

“So -.” Arthur took a deep breath, still not shirking from Joel’s gaze and smiled. Gave the rough hand on his shoulder a reassuring pat. “- I’m just an extra gun. You’re just a traveller. And when we reach Kennewick, you’ll be rid of me forever. How does that sound?”

A second passed. Then another.

“Alright.” Joel finally agreed. 

Arthur felt the tension leave him when Joel’s eyes returned to his former task, but suppressed the urge to let out a sigh. Instead he watched Joel’s face as he worked, how the mistrust turned into exhaustion and his features softened as he put a salve on the wound, covered it with a gauze pad that he fastened with medical tape. He was surprisingly gentle for someone who had just calmly threatened him a few moments ago. 

It was a nice face to look at, Arthur had very little issues admitting that. Maybe not out loud, considering that Joel and him had only just reached the mutual agreement of not killing each other for the time being. 

Joel caught him staring, when he finished his task. Immediately the frown and mild scowl returned to his face.

“What?”

“Nothin’.”

Joel kept frowning but got up to his feet, maybe too tired for any further inquiries. 

“I’m going to sleep. Eat something and wake Ellie for her shift in an hour.”

_I trust you not to kill me in my sleep._

Arthur watched as he left to settle down on his bedroll, frowned and resisted the urge to light a cigarette. Instead he got his journal and pencil out and began to sketch. 

It was a pretty nice face to look at after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arthur: He's kinda hot though. 
> 
> Because I mentioned several times, that Arthur is bigger than Joel: Joel is around 5'10' (178-180 cm). There's a ruler in the sewers in the first game so you can measure him. Arthur does not have a canonical height, but there seems to be a general consensus that he's at least 6'1'' (185 cm), so that's what I'm running with. Joel doesn't seem to be a leight weight, but healthy eating non TB Arthur seems to have more mass/ a heavier built. Just in case you might have been irritated by this. Before looking it up, I was convinced that Joel was taller.
> 
> Edit: reader Jess was so nice and pointed this thread out to me https://www.reddit.com/r/thelastofus/comments/691iar/joel_182cm_6_feet_ellie_165cm_55/ which has Joel at 182 cm.   
> So yeah, Arthur is a little taller.


	6. Nyssa - Day 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes a train is the only way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No special chapter warnings apply. 
> 
> (If you ever feel that a certain warning or tag is missing, please don't hold back).

**Nyssa - Day 21**

“There’s the bridge.”

Joel's eyes followed the direction Arthur’s rifle was pointing, peeking around the wall of a farmhouse near the bank of Snake River. The cold clear spring morning allowed a clear view on the bridge they had been meaning to cross. They had left their shelter early, just after sunrise. While Ellie checked the house for any interesting supplies, Joel and Arthur wanted to make sure their path over the bridge into Nyssa was clear.

“I can see that.”

Arthur snorted derisively, but handed the weapon over to him, so Joel was able to take a look through the scope himself. The bridge leading into the small town was in a surprisingly good state.

So the bridge itself wasn’t the problem.

The real issue were the people patrolling and controlling the bridge, venturing back and forth between barbed wire barricades. A rusty jeep blocked the end that led into town with a green sign sprayed on the visible door. The guards seemed on high alert, guns in hand like they were waiting for someone. 

“Who are they?”

Joel handed the rifle to Ellie, when she left the house and joined them. She followed their example and scouted out the bridge.

Arthur seemed to hesitate, but eventually answered, eyes still fixed on the town across the river.

“Same fellas who had us trapped.” He seemed better, even though he still avoided carrying his backpack on his left shoulder. From what Joel had seen yesterday the wound was healing up pretty well.

“And what are they doing here?”

"Looks like they're controllin' the city,"

“Then why did you lead us here?”

“I hoped they’d be gone by now, what do you think? I ain’t too keen of gettin’ captured again.”

In the light of given circumstances crossing the river swimming felt much more appealing - and it would likely come with a much better survival rate than crossing a heavily guarded bridge. There was no way they would make it across alive or without getting captured by those men. 

"There's another way." Arthur slowly said. 

"You're telling us now?" Ellie put the rifle down to look at Arthur with a frown. 

"It might be blocked, but... get the map out."

Ellie handed the rifle back to its owner, took the map out of the pocket of her jacket and spread it out on the ground. "There's a small bridge here." Arthur pointed at a spot near Apple Valley, where Snake River split up into two streams. Which meant they had to go back, possibly even had walked past it earlier this morning while heading to the Route 26 bridge leading into Nyssa. "And here - " He pointed at Snake River near Prati Island. "- is a railway bridge that's still standing."

"So why didn't we cross the river there in the first place?" Ellie sounded mildly annoyed now.

"There's a train blocking the bridge. We'd have to get through the train to get on the other side.Or climb on top of it, might get spotted then though."

"What kind of train?", Joel wanted to know. 

"Passenger one. Don't know how long it's been there."

"Any other options?"

"Devo Bridge." Arthur pointed at a large bridge upstream near Ontario. "Or we head all the way back and cross near Adrian. Unless you wanna take a dive?"

Joel didn't. They could probably make it but even though the weather was steadily changing to spring now, it was too cold and all their stuff would get drenched.

"What do you think?” 

Ellie looked up as Joel addressed her. She chewed on her lip for a moment.

“I think we ought to take a look at this train.” 

The first bridge wasn’t far from the house they had used as shelter last night. Joel let Arthur lead the way and set the pace. Just like yesterday Ellie joined him.

Joel had to begrudgingly admit that the man had a ruggish charm. Ellie seemed to like his humor. They talked easily and now and then they would try to pull Joel into one of their conversations. Both of them carefully avoided every topic that could have potentially touched upon either of their backgrounds.They talked archery, but not how Ellie had mastered it. Neither did Ellie ask about how exactly Arthur had ended up with an arrowhead in his shoulder. They chatted about the way ahead, but Ellie stayed vague about what they were looking to find there. Joel wondered how long this game of avoidance would last. How long all of them would be able to play this game. They would at least need eight days to get to Kennewick, probably more.

So it probably was a good thing that Ellie got along so well with their new companion. 

Or maybe she was just relieved to have a break from being alone with Joel.

Talking to Arthur provided her with a distraction. 

Even if it meant trusting a complete stranger. Or possibly precisely _ because _ it meant talking to a stranger. Someone who wasn’t Joel. 

The railway bridge crossed roughly 300ft of Snake River and the last third was - as Arthur had predicted - blocked by a passenger train. The metal bridge, while rusty appeared still intact as they followed the old rails to the locomotive.

They could spot the fungi creeping up the window from afar, not even having to take a look inside. The air inside the cabin seemed dusty with spores.

Joel could imagine how it went down, had heard similar stories, every single one horrifying in their own way. How one infected on a train or boat had spread the cordyceps between passengers, until the vehicle turned into a deathtrap. Maybe the train was supposed to stop in Nyssa, but had passed through the station because the engineer had already turned. So as the train passed through the town, someone who still had control over their mind might have put on the emergency brake stopping the train right above the river. The cars above the water were probably crawling with infected of every stage.

“I don’t think we should take the way through the train.”

Arthur turned to look at Joel.

“Guess we’re climbin’ then.” He turned back towards the train. “C’mon. I’m gonna boost you two up.”

“With that arm of yours?” Joel pointed at Arthur’s shoulder. “I don’t think so. I get you two up, you get me up with a rope.”

“I ain’t…”

“This ain’t up for debate.”

Arthur already opened his mouth for a comeback, when Ellie groaned in annoyance.

“We get it. You’re both very strong manly men who don’t need no help.” She said, her voice lowered mockingly for the last few words. “Can you two save your dick waving contest for later? Joel’s right. There’s no way you can boost him up in your state, so suck it up, big boy.”

That marked the end of that debate. Joel barely managed to hide an impressed smile behind his hand, even less so when seeing Arthur’s dumbfounded expression. He quickly felt the grin waning as he turned his attention on the task at hand, heading for the train car. He leaned against it for stabilisation, forming a step with his hands to give the other two a leg up. Ellie was on the roof in no time.

“You sure about that?” Arthur stopped right in front of him and looked him over strangely. Even though Arthur looked less bulky after he had exchanged the warm blue coat for a lighter leather jacket this morning, he was very obviously not a featherweight. He was a few inches taller and a little broader than Joel maybe. 

“What do you take me for?” The hesitation made Joel impatient. “Just get it over with.”

Arthur didn’t seem satisfied with his answer, but kept his mouth shut this time and grabbed Joel’s shoulders for support, as he placed his foot in Joel’s hands. Getting Arthur up wasn’t as easy as Ellie. It worked out though, even if it required a significantly larger effort on Joel’s part and he ended up with his face pressed against Arthur’s thigh for a moment, as Arthur slowly pulled himself up onto the roof, Ellie lending him a hand.

Joel joined them shortly after, climbing up with the help of a rope Ellie had routinely fastened around the handle of an emergency exit. He waited beside her, watching her roll it back up and store it away in her backpack.

“This is not a -” Joel gestured vaguely, clearing his throat. “- dick waving contest.”

“Yeah, sure. Whatever.” He heard the amused tone in her voice. 

The way ahead of them was short, but on top of the train they were far too easy a target. Any possible lookouts stationed on rooftops or any elevated position would spot them from miles away. Below them the train was crawling with infected. First dormant, they could hear them shuffle and moan, the screeching of clickers following their footsteps on the slippery metal. As they made their way across, some of the emergency exit hatches in the ceiling stood open and allowed for a look inside, revealing a torpid unmoving bloater. 

Still, it should have been the safer way. 

A way of shielding them from the gang or possible hunters in the city. Instead of passing through the city and following Route 26, they would make their way through the woods and follow Lytle Boulevard up the mountain and return to the highway near Vale. 

It wasn’t as easy as that though. They heard shouting, followed by a gunshot that barely missed Ellie, when they had just reached the end of the bridge. The train continued for a couple more cars into the outskirts of the small town that had been reclaimed by trees. The road along the tracks was barely visible under a blanket of grass. Beyond them a clicker screeched as they picked up speed. 

“There.” Arthur pointed at a house at the side of the tracks, surrounded by trees. They ran the last metres on the train, while gunshots and shouting came closer. The roaring engine of a car could be heard in the distance. With the threat coming closer, they hopped off the train. It was an ungentle landing, only lightly cushioned by grass and moss on the old street leading straight into town. Joel groaned but quickly got onto his feet, his knees aching. Arthur had already run towards the house, waited next to the open front door gun in hand until Ellie and then Joel entered the house.It must have been looted several times already. The floor was covered in moss that had crept in from the outside, boxes and junk was scattered around the ground. They rushed into the first room with a functional door, closed it behind them. Arthur barricaded the door with a brittle chair he picked up from the floor. 

Joel barely managed to catch a glimpse of Ellie hiding under the king size bed, before Arthur grabbed him and pulled him into a narrow wall closet.

“What do you think -”

He wasn’t able to finish his sentence. Arthur covered his mouth with his hand and pulled the door shut behind them, leaving them in twilight. 

“Quiet.” It was merely more than a hiss under his breath close to Joel’s ear, his other hand firmly on Joel’s shoulder as if to hold him in place. 

Moments later muffled voices could be heard and Joel went still. 

Arthur didn't move much, just withdrew his hand from Joel's face, but kept the other where it was. There wasn’t much room to move either way. The space wasn’t meant to accommodate two large men and their backpacks. 

Maybe it would have been better if Arthur had kept his hand where it had been. Now Joel was stuck against the side of the other man’s neck, his lips just below Arthur’s jawline.

He tried not to breathe, to keep his breathing as shallow as he could.

They were  _ close _ . 

Too close.

Close enough that Arthur must have been able to feel Joel’s breath on his skin, that Joel could feel the rough tickle of Arthur’s stubble brushing against his lips, that he could feel him swallow. As he carefully wet his lips he could taste sweat on them that wasn’t his. There were more voices outside now, then the screeching brakes of a car coming to a sudden halt from outside. Muffled voices again. 

“I swear it was Morgan!”

“Then how could you lose him in the first place?”

Joel felt Arthur tensing up at hearing the voices, his breath quickening. The people speaking were inside the house.

Joel tried to concentrate on the words being said. On literally anything else but his current predicament. 

Less on being trapped with Arthur in a too small closet.

More on them being trapped inside a house with people hunting them. 

“We didn’t lose him, boss. He had help. We thought they was just some trespassers, when we picked them up. 

“What trespassers?”

“Some old man. And a girl.”

“Your only job was to wait for me and not let him out of your sight and a man and a girl show up and you get so distracted you manage to let him escape ? What would you have done if Dutch and his entire gang of misfits had showed up? Pissed your pants and surrendered?”

“We need to get out of here.” Joel kept his voice as low as he possibly could, mumbling against Arthur’s skin. He tried to ignore the sensation of the beard stubble against his lips, failing spectacularly. 

“You don’t say.” Words that were barely a breath against his ear. “You don’t got a plan I suppose?”

“Matter of fact, I have.”

“Enlighten me.”

“You and Ellie get to the car. I create a distraction.”

This time Arthur leaned back a little more. Enough that Joel was freed from having his face shoved into the crook of Arthur’s neck and they could look the other in the eye, their face only a few inches apart.

“You’re gonna get yourself killed.” Arthur squinted, eyed him as if to figure him out. Joel rolled his eyes.

“I survived worse.”

When the voices appeared farther away, Arthur moved. He slowly pushed the door open, so Joel could look out over his shoulder to check their surroundings. 

“Room’s empty.”

They stepped out of the closet as quietly as they could and immediately dropped to crouch down low. While Arthur headed towards the bed to let Ellie know it was time to move, Joel sneaked to the window, scouting the outside. He could see the train and at least three armed men patrolling the area.

Joel  _ had  _ a plan.

It wasn’t the best plan. 

Or the safest.

But it was a plan nevertheless. 

Ignoring Ellie and Arthur he went back the way they had come in. Keeping low, he made his way back to the train, revolver in hand. Through the stained windows, you could hear and see movement. Hectic, erratic shuffling and agonized, inhuman wailing. 

It had caught the attention of three of the patrolling guards, leaving them visibly uneasy as their route led them closer to the rusted last car.

“How long do you think they have been in there?” One of them asked.

Another one shrugged. 

“Hell if I know. Since the outbreak I’d reckon.”

Joel didn’t wait for the third one to give his best guess. Instead, he scooted closer, eyes on the ground, until he found what he needed - a brick. He weighed it in his hand, took aim and threw it against the train window with practised precision. The sound of the window shattering was followed by a bloodcurdling scream. The slow shuffling from inside the train car turned into rapid movement, as several clickers and a handful of runners started crawling through the windows. 

The three guards shouted for help and began to fire aimless, panicked shots at the infected emerging from the broken window.

Joel didn’t stick around to see if anyone was coming for their aid before the clickers would rip them to shreds. Neither did he hang around to wait for the bloater to make his entrance, that was already making its way through the train car towards the commotion .He was able to hear it though. How it stomped through the train with booming steps and loud moaning sounds. He turned around, hurried around the building to look for the car he had heard arriving earlier. 

Joel found Arthur and Ellie with the car as planned. Or mostly as planned. 

On the driver’s seat a man was sitting. Long greasy grey hair, an unfriendly rat-like face looking panicked as Arthur casually leaned against the frame of the driver’s seat window, gun in hand. He didn’t point it at the man in the car. Through the other window, Ellie was pointing a shotgun at the stranger. Her face lit up as Joel approached them. 

“Hello, Colm.” Arthur’s voice was calm, almost amused, his tone carrying an underlying, unspoken threat. 

“Arthur. We can talk about this.” The man’s face was white as a sheet. The words left him in a stutter. “You could still join my boys.”

“No we can’t, Colm. You see-” Arthur opened the door, grabbed the man by the collar and pulled him out of the car. Meanwhile Ellie jumped into the passenger seat. In the background the screams and gunshots had stopped, replaced by the desperate moaning of the infected closing in on them. “- I take kidnappin’ kinda personally.” He struck the man with the butt of his gun, knocking him out cold and leaving him on the ground. Arthur looked at Joel.

“You wanna drive?”

Joel smiled grimly but gave a nod as he went for the driver’s seat, while Arthur hopped into the back. . Joel revved up the engine before Arthur had even sat down, the car dashing through the town, away from the horde of infected and the unconscious Colm and his goons.    
  
When the car was well out of Nyssa, their surroundings were densely wooded. Once there had been fields here, the area cleared from trees. The only indication for this now was a moss covered rusty tractor. Ellie took out the map, giving Joel directions every so often.    
When they reached what had once been Enterprise Avenue, Joel took a look in the rearview mirror. Arthur had made himself as comfortable on the rear bench seat as was possible, given the cramped space and appeared to be slowly dozing off, his eyelids fluttering like he was fighting against it. On the passenger seat Ellie had pulled her legs up all the way to her chin and was reading the book she had stolen from Arthur.

Joel would bug him later.

About this  _ Colm. _

And  _ Dutch and his gang of misfits. _


	7. Brogan - Day 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A car can make all the difference.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With a little delay: a new chapter! I hope all of you had nice holidays - or as nice as they can be. 
> 
> No additional chapter warnings apply.

**Brogan - Day 21**

  
  


Ellie found not having to walk for once a welcome change in their routine. Being able to just watch the scenery pass by for a while. For a bit just staring out of the window was enough, her mind everywhere and nothing, the sound of the engine a welcome white noise. It didn’t last for long. When the monotone surroundings began to bore her and her mind returned to what might be awaiting them in Seattle, she took to rummaging around in the glove box, in hopes of finding something that would captivate her interest for a little while 

“Anythin’ interestin’?” Arthur had been snoring on the backseat and had only started moving again a few minutes ago. He sat up and leaned forward, elbows on Joel’s and Ellie’s headrests. 

“Cigarettes.” She declared as she found them, took the package out and handed it to Arthur who answered with an appreciative hum. Judging by the packs she had found in his backpack he was the only one of them who would make use of them. There were a couple of granola bars that had expired before she had been born. A pair of leather gloves. A porn magazine. She got it out and started skipping through the wrinkly pages, putting her feet on the dashboard as she comfortably leaned back in the car seat. 

“No offense, but you guys had weird taste back in the day. ” She looked through the compilation of mostly naked, perfectly hairless women. Behind her Arthur huffed out a laugh. 

“You’re not wrong there, kid.”

Ellie closed the magazine and offered it to Joel, who kept his eyes on the road. 

“Want me to keep it for you?”

She knew he must roll his eyes and massage his left temple without really being able to see it.

“No.” 

She shrugged, offered it to Arthur who also declined (albeit more politely) and sent it on its way through the open window. 

As she watched it fly away in the side mirror she was reminded of a situation not much different from this one. She had to giggle.

“Hey, Joel.”

He hummed in acknowledgement but kept his eyes on the road. A sign announcing Brogan being close flew by. 

“Remember when I stole that magazine from Bill’s?”

“I wish I didn’t.”

She continued to giggle and turned to Arthur again. 

“You should have seen his face, I swear. I stole this mag from a friend of Joel’s - because he was a dick and it’s not my fault he just had it lying around. I get it out and Joel’s all like - “ She lowered her voice, mimicking Joel’s gruff drawl. “-  _ Ellie, that ain’t for kids.  _ And I ask him why -” She had to laugh harder, interrupting herself. “Why the pages are all sticking together and I swear he almost had a heart attack.” 

“Hilarious.” For mysterious reasons, Joel wasn’t half as amused as she was. 

Behind her Arthur broke out into loud laughter.

“I did  _ not _ have a hard attack.”

“You thought you had to explain the birds and the bees to me over a magazine with naked dudes.” She dabbed at her eyes with her sleeve, wiping away the tears of laughter. “Or the bees and the bees.”

“Glad you two are having so much fun on my account.”

It took her awhile to calm down. It felt  _ good _ . For a moment, for those silly minutes it felt easy. She could see Joel mildly smiling to himself, despite his pretend irritation. He looked tired though. He had taken the last guard shift and woke them up this morning. He rubbed his eyes and looked at the rearview mirror to address Arthur who had made himself comfortable on the backseat. 

“We need to find some gas in Brogan, if we want to make it to Kennewick today.” If the road ahead of them had the right condition, Joel had earlier estimated they could reach Kennewick later tonight - if they found gas. Without the car it would take them several days. If they kept the car even longer, it would shorten their journey to Seattle significantly. “Could you take over the wheel, when we’re in Brogan?”

There was an awkward pause. 

“I can’t drive.”

Ellie turned in her seat to face Arthur again.

“You what?”

“I can’t drive a car”, he repeated, visibly uncomfortable. 

“How old were you during the outbreak that you never drove a car?” Joel’s tone wavered somewhere between irritation, disbelief and honest confusion. 

“I was 18.” Arthur sounded mindly embarrassed. “And I  _ have _ driven a car before. It just never… worked out.”

“Even I know how to drive! Well, the basics at least.” Ellie held form unto the belief that with just a little more practice she could be a formidable driver - not that there was much driving experience to gain in Jackson.

“Well, show me how to drive then.” Arthur’s tone changed from embarrassment to defiance which led to Joel’s confusion being turned into annoyance. 

“I definitely won’t show you how to drive a goddamn car.”

So much for getting along.

There was no conclusion to their bickering and Arthur never had to further justify his driving skills, or lack thereof, when a roadblock stopped them just as they were entering Brogan. Joel brought the jeep to a halt so sudden, Ellie had to brace herself against the dashboard with both of her feet.

Joel cursed under his breath, immediately went into reverse, but had to stop again as several armed figures appeared behind the car. Ellie instinctively reached for her gun. She exchanged a look with Arthur, who seemed tense, but made no effort to arm himself. Ellie frowned, turning to Joel. 

Joel’s knuckles on the steering wheel turned white as more figures surrounded them, all armed, all on high alert. 

Joel tried to reach for his revolver, but froze when a woman walked up to the driver’s side window.

“I wouldn’t do this if I were you.” She pointed her shotgun at him. “Get out of the car.”

They got out, slowly, arms in the air. It wasn’t like they had much of a choice. They could never win a shootout like this. Ellie got out on her side and slowly circled the car to join Joel and Arthur standing at the driver’s side in front of the woman who had addressed them. She was dressed entirely in black, most of her clothes looking like motorcycle gear. She watched them with sharp curious eyes and possibly the slightest hint of amusement. She might have been Joel’s age, it was hard to tell. The other people, about a handful, appeared to be mostly women, except for a teenage boy who kept to the background.

“You lot don’t look like O’Driscolls.” 

“That’s cause we ain’t no O’Driscolls, ma’am.” Arthur slowly approached them, one step after the other, hands still in the air, voice almost casual, calm. Not like they were at gunpoint at the mercy of a bunch of armed strangers. 

“So what’re you doing coming here with an O’Driscoll car - “ The woman pointed her gun at a sign that was painted on the jeep’s hood. “- and coming from Nyssa which is crawling with O’Driscoll scum.” It sounded less like a question and more like she was just stating the obvious. 

“We were just passin’ through. And relieved them of a car they weren’t needin’.” 

“And who would you be?”

“Just two fellas and their daughter.” 

The woman laughed. 

“You’re a terrible liar, darlin’. But I believe as much that you ain’t Colm’s men.” She lowered her gun and Joel and Ellie carefully slowly let their arms drop to their sides again. From the corner of her eye, Ellie saw Joel slowly reaching for his revolver. She put a hand on his arm before he could reach it. “I fear I have to relieve you of that car. And tell your  _ husband _ if he tries reaching for his gun again we will tie him up.” 

At this point Ellie was relieved that he had not tried to run anyone over with the car earlier.

“You can count y’allselves lucky it’s just us stopping you and the car is all we’re taking.” The woman turned to a couple of women behind the jeep. 

All Joel, Ellie and Arthur could do was watch as the two strangers took to loading luggage, food, petrol cans and weapons into the Jeep while their apparent leader kept watch like a hawk, ready to make use of her shotgun if necessary. It was frustrating. To once again have to realize how easy something could be taken away from you. Ellie felt her fingers twitch, unconsciously began picking the skin around her nails. 

It shouldn’t rile her up so much. She should have been used to it by now. To nothing being safe. 

A hand on her shoulder startled her, but she didn’t pull away. She looked up at Joel. He didn’t smile, his face was grim. She couldn’t pinpoint why this was comforting to her. Maybe because she knew he felt the same frustration. The same impatience. They stood there in silence, his hand on her shoulder a reassuring weight and watched these strangers steal the car they had acquired only a few hours ago and had gone through so much trouble for. If Arthur was as frustrated as they were, he didn’t show it. He smoked a cigarette in silence, eyes darting between Ellie, Joel, the woman keeping watch and the Jeep. Maybe things like this had just stopped surprising him any longer . 

When everything was packed in the trunk, the woman clad in black nodded, satisfied with the job being finished. 

“I’m afraid this is where we will part. We’ll be on our way.” Her people got into the car, using every last bit of space to make seven people fit in the vehicle. “Best of luck on your future endeavors.” She got into the driver’s seat, closed the door and leaned out through the rolled down window. “There might be some useful stuff around in some of the houses. Stay safe.”

Arthur tossed the stub of his cigarette on the ground. 

“You, too.”

She winked, put the jeep in the reverse and turned, leaving in the direction Joel, Ellie and Arthur had come from. . 

And just like that the four to six hour drive to Kennewick turned back into a walk of several days. 

It was Arthur who broke the silence first as they watched the car getting smaller in the distance, 

“You’re one trigger happy bastard, aren’t ya.”

Joel turned to look at him. 

“And you’re a terrible liar,  _ Arthur Miller _ .”

Ellie snorted, Arthur looked confused. “What?”

“Nothing. Let’s get going.”

**Wolf Creek Reservoir - Day 24**

  
  


The days after leaving Kennewick had thankfully been less eventful. The road had been mostly quiet, they barely ever passed through any urban territory. 

In a way Ellie was glad that Arthur had joined them. He was a buffer. A way out. A distraction. For both of them. He liked to hum under his breath, when no one was talking as if he were by himself. He knew how to take her mind of things, when she was on edge or lost in thought. Be it with calling her attention to something in the nature surrounding them or by starting to tell a good natured story. The stories might have been lies or they might be puzzle pieces of his life, either way they were a welcome distraction. Every evening, when they made camp, she watched him take his journal out just like she did and scribble away. Joel’s resolve was slowly wearing down. It was almost like he had simply, if begrudgingly, accepted their new companion since he wasn’t getting rid of him anytime soon. It probably helped that Arthur shot a rifle just as good as Tommy did, which proved very useful when he went hunting one evening and came back with a twelve-point buck. 

They found a small fishing hut near a lake that their map showed as Wolf Creek Reservoir. The wooden shack was small, just one big room, a wall cupboard and a small bathroom, but being in the middle of nowhere it seemed to have remained untouched since the outbreak. The bed, the armchair and the sofa had a sour smell, but seemed mostly intact and free of vermin, the clothes and towels stowed away in a wooden chest were dry and clean and free of moths. The cupboards of a small kitchen counter also in the same room revealed a variety of food cans. The water in the shower wasn’t working, there was no gas for the stove, but the lake outside was close and they managed to get the fireplace working with some wood they gathered outside.

It felt like a peaceful break. A respite. 

Ellie was reminded of going hiking with Joel to the museum. How they stayed in places just like this one on their way there. 

How he told her of having gone hiking with Sarah before the outbreak. How they had to rent a place to stay in it. 

Staying just because you wanted to.

Not because you had to.

Not to survive.

Someone once came here to relax. To go fishing.

Escape everyday life. 

There was a certain irony about that. 

Most importantly of all - it was a place for them to take a break with a clean water supply nearby and it appeared to be as safe as it could be under the given circumstances. 

As Arthur got out to make use of the lake, Ellie checked the food cans for corrosion, sorted those out that were leaking or seemed rusty. Joel was rummaging around in the restroom. From the outside she could hear some cursing. She snorted and threw herself on the sofa. 

“You know what I miss?” She called out to Joel who was still in the bathroom behind her doing god knew what. 

“Pretty sure you’re gonna tell me.” He sounded mostly amused. 

“Warm showers. You really get used to them in Jackson.” The prospect of washing herself in the cold lake outside was far from inviting, but it was at least a chance for an actual bath. “How did we do this for like a year?” 

She heard him laugh.

“No idea, kiddo.” 

She let her eyes dart through the room. The fake fish above the fireplace.The clothes she had spread out on the bed, so Arthur and Joel could have a look to find something fitting. Joel’s jacket and backpack on the floor. She listened to the cackling of the fire.

And the low clicking of a pair of scissors followed by Joel cursing under his breath. 

“You know what I miss?” He asked and she snorted, sitting up from the sofa, her crossed arms over the back of the sofa so she could look over to Joel, who was standing in front of the sink. The noise of the scissors cutting continued as he busied himself trying to shorten his beard, making use of having a proper mirror for once. 

“Let me guess: Your fancy shaving utensils?” She wasn’t able to keep the amusement from her voice. “You could have brought your stuff with you, you know.”

“You know how hard it was to find a good razor? Won’t risk losing it.” 

She snickered at his answer and met his eyes over the bathroom mirror.

“You need a hand?” 

Ellie used to cut Joel’s beard and hair all the time when it had been just the two of them on the road. She’d gotten pretty good at it, actually. Keeping it short and a little more tidy. She’d learned that he never shaved it all off on the road because his skin got too irritated. It had been easier for her to do it when he didn’t have a proper mirror at hand. 

“Fine for now, I think.” His voice was soft. “Maybe next time.” 

She didn’t answer, just nodded as he turned around, beard now trimmed as neatly as possible with a pair of too old, too blunt scissors. He looked a little more civilized now again. More Jackson, than unwashed survivor.

Maybe more Boston, than Jackson. Just the hair was still too long. 

“What?” He asked, as he found her looking at him.

“Nothing.” She turned back around and placed her feet on the wooden coffee table, while he went to check the clothes. 

Arthur returned, bringing the smell of hard soap inside the house with him. He had one of the towels they had found in the house draped around his shoulders. His hair was dripping wet and he was shuddering. 

He was back in his old pair of jeans, but held his shirt and gunbelt in his hand. The bruise on his ribs had turned into a dark green by now. The wound on his shoulder was nowhere near as bad as it had looked when Joel had stitched him up. 

“The water is damn cold.” He threw the shirt and belt in the direction of his backpack and went for the clothes lying on the bed. Joel, who had been busy doing the same, gave him a long unreadable look and offered him a warm looking sweater. 

Arthur raised his eyebrows. 

“Have we met before? Arthur.” He offered Joel his hand as if to shake it. “You come here often?”

Ellie, who had just taken a swig from her water bottle, snorted so hard, she blew out water from her nose. She couldn’t tell what was funnier: Joel’s face or the sheer absurdity of it all. Finally Arthur snickered, accepted the sweater, put it on and went for his backpack.

“Why don’t you just shave it off?” Arthur asked as he scratched his own week-old stubble.

"He's got sensitive skin. Looks like a pimply teenager if he shaves without his proper equipment." Ellie offered the explanation fighting down a grin, before Joel had any chance to answer. 

Joel rolled his eyes at them, gathered a towel, soap and some fresh clothes and went out to the lake without granting them an answer. Lowly laughing to himself Arthur got his journal from his bag and made himself comfortable on an armchair next to the fireplace. The noise of pencil strokes filled the air accompanied by a low humming of an unknown melody 

She could get used to this. The company.

Arthur was a buffer who had no regard for Joel’s obvious mistrust. Who either didn’t give a fuck or saw it as a challenge,even. 

As if he felt her eyes on him, Arthur looked up. 

“Everything alright, kid?”

“Yeah. I just -” She pulled her legs close to her chest, hugged them with her arms. “- I saw your drawings.” Before he could say anything, she went on. “I didn’t read your journal. Just looked at the drawings. And the photos.” She didn’t ask anything further about those. It felt too personal. Overstepping the line of their mutual agreement of keeping certain things to themselves. That didn’t mean she wasn’t curious though.

“It’s alright.” Arthur closed his journal, leaned back in the chair, legs stretched out. He absentmindedly scratched his shoulder wound, made a face and left it alone again. 

“You keep a journal, too. Saw you writing in it.”

“Yeah. Helps to sort your head out. Wouldn’t have taken you for someone who draws though.”

He huffed out a laugh, shook his head. “That’s fair.”

“You’re pretty good.”

He looked away, cocking his head, just slightly and shifted in his chair. Like he was uncomfortable. Didn’t know how to take a compliment. Like he wasn’t used to someone commenting on or even seeing his art. 

“I do like to draw. And paint. Sometimes.”

His eyes snapped back to her on her hurried remark, a soft smile on his features. 

They were interrupted by Joel’s return. He was shivering just as much as Arthur had been and he quickly went to put on a thick plaid shirt over the undershirt he was wearing. Ellie hadn’t noticed until now that the softness he had gained in Jackson over the last couple of years was slowly fading. She found Arthur looking at him. Curious maybe. Hard to read. She shot him a questioning look, but he just shrugged and returned his attention back to his journal.

Ellie shook her head and got up to gather her things to follow the men’s example. 

Arthur had been right. The water was almost unbearably cold as she dipped her toes in. For a moment she considered not washing at all, but eventually forced herself in at least to her thighs. As she washed herself with a piece of cloth and soap, leaving her head and hair for last, she remembered a different kind of bath. A different time. 

The winter after Joel showed her the museum for her birthday.

Remembered sneaking out of Jackson because Dina had wanted to show her something.

_ Something. _

She hadn’t really cared about what she was about to show her. She had never been able to refuse her, not even then. 

She remembered bathing in the hot springs near Jackson, floating in the warm water as snowflakes gathered on their heads.

As she was shivering now, every hair on her body standing up, teeth chattering, she remembered the warmth and Dina’s laugh as they were splashing about in their underwear. 

It was a good memory. 

A warm memory. 

Precious. 

It felt like it had happened ages ago. 

A different life.

Something she wouldn’t return to. 

Ellie hesitated before walking back in as she heard voices from inside, leaned against the door with her back, eyes on the lake, smiled despite the shiver running down her spine. 

"Okay, humor me." Joel's voice, not hostile, just amused. Maybe curious. "Why can't you drive a car?"

"That's what's bugging you? The car thing?"

"Maybe."

She heard Arthur click his tongue. 

"Tried to steal one. When I was 14. Usually only stole like radios and shit, but someone wanted that car. I was a fool, so I tried it. Tried to drive a way with it, got into a crash not even leaving the property it was on. Got a nasty cut. Right here." A pause as Arthur was probably pointing to a memento scar. "Guys who owned the car caught me. Didn't rat me out to the cops though." 

"Then what?"

"Stayed with them. I was just some street kid. They offered to take me in. One of them was pretty… peculiar about his car, so I never got to drive it. I didn't really care. And never really learned it after the breakout. There was no need, I guess." 

"What about your family?" Joel asked.

"My ma died when I was a kid. Dad was in prison."

Ellie stood there with her back against the door, eyes on the sky as the sun slowly dropped below the horizon, the voices of the two men a comforting murmur behind her.

She remembered stargazing with Dina. 

Wondered if Dina thought of her too, looking in the sky at night. 

If they would look at the stars together again. 

When Ellie opened the door she found Joel lounging on the sofa. He seemed relaxed. Guard down for once. When he spotted her, he frowned. 

“I knew it.”

“What?” She felt caught all of a sudden. Like Joel somehow knew she had been eavesdropping.

“That you had this shirt. I’ve been looking for this one for ages.”

“I thought you had thrown it out.” She shrugged and threw herself on the sofa next to him. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little less action this time and another cameo, some may recognize. 
> 
> Some fun facts: Joel having super very sensitive skin is a HC by [Scrambled Still](https://twitter.com/ScrambledStill) which I really liked and thankfully was allowed to use. 
> 
> We see here that Arthur was 18 during the outbreak, so he's in his early 40s now and roughly ten years younger than Joel, but older than in RDR2. 
> 
> As you can see, I read Ellie's question about "why are these all stuck together" as talking about the pages of the magazine being super sticky (I don't think I have to elaborate), for some reason I never realized she could also be talking about the dudes in the magazines, so now I'm curious how y'all interpret that :D 
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading, your support for this story and your patience!

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to talk, don't be shy and find me on Twitter: [@ItsAnotherBird](https://twitter.com/ItsAnotherBird) or tumblr [the-other-bird](http://the-other-bird.tumblr.com) . If you're interested I can tag you on those sites, when I post a new chapter.


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